It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
