Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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