Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(432): View more from Texas

So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?

(207): View more from Maine

You need to stop watching Twilight.

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(334): View more from Alabama

she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.

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(716): View more from New York

just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.

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(410): View more from Maryland

You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air

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(989): View more from Michigan

Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.

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(510): View more from California

Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.

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(585): View more from New York

There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?

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(763): View more from Minnesota

All I need is to get out and get laid

(612): View more from Minnesota

Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for

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