There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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