Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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