we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
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