I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
