You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
