Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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