Where is the hickey?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
