i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
