I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
