i would punch a child for taco bell
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
