just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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