Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
