Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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