she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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