i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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