I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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