words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
