Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
