Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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