im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize