Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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