i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
