I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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