so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
