dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
