is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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