i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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