I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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