Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
