I cockslap morals
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
