So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
