what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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