Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I woke up under a house in Key West
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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