hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
