Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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