South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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