She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
