my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
