TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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