I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
