He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
