I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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