I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize