so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
