coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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