Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My life is pants optional.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
