If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize