i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
