he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
