they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
