Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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