please come you make the beer taste better
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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