Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
