A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize