You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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