I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
