I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
