in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
