While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize