I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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