lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
