Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
