You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
