Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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