Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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